Revelations

Hello! Your thread seems to have been cruelly ignored; I do apologise. It's a shame because it sounds like an extremely interesting premise, with oodles of potential. The fundamentals are in place, and it loooks like you'vfe a strong character in Athal - I do like the fact that, whilst in the unenviable position of choosing between serving God or the devil, he really doesn't mind provided he gets his soul back. I do wonder sometimes how these RPG heroes cope under the stress of their quests - I know if it were me, my goal would be considerably more down to earth (pun intended) and though I should tut at Athal's 'selfishness', in truth it seems like a very human response to his situation.

It's a little unclear in your description, but I'm presuming when Athal has his accident, in those out-of-body moments his soul is retained by the devil? It's not entirely clear how he manages to lose his soul. The fact that his grandmother loses her life in a similar accidental is certainly portentous, and you could definitely make something of that.

I would offer my services, though I'm rather thinly stretched at the moment as far as my storytelling goes, but certainly I'd be interested to see how you develop this. From experience my advice if you're struggling to move the plot forward is to get some paper or a notebook and write your story by hand. Don't worry about what you're writing, or if it's "good", just carry on. Chances are the first page or two might be a little wishy washy, but once you've 'connected' and opened the floodgates ideas will pop up left, right and centre. You can always get rid of the rubbish bits later; you just need to get those creative juices flowing . It might be worth dusting off your copy of Milton, too, especially if you want a few scenes with everyone's favourite Antichrist in there - everyone knows that Satan gets all the good bits in Paradise Lost!

How did Express Game Maker come about, by the way? I'm not familiar with it.